The dumbest things said in reviews or comments online, collected in one place, so we can mock them mercilessly. Got a good one? Send it to me!
Source

Dear ReviewTard:

Please repeat after me: “iTunes reviews are not the same thing as support forums.”

Again: “iTunes reviews are not the same thing as support forums.”

And again: “iTunes reviews are not the same thing as support forums.”

There you go. Please feel free to bookmark this page and return to it later should you become confused and forget that iTunes reviews are not the same thing as support forums.

(found by Moltz)

Source

Dear ReviewTard:

Please repeat after me: “iTunes reviews are not the same thing as support forums.”

Again: “iTunes reviews are not the same thing as support forums.”

And again: “iTunes reviews are not the same thing as support forums.”

There you go. Please feel free to bookmark this page and return to it later should you become confused and forget that iTunes reviews are not the same thing as support forums.

(found by Moltz)

7 months ago on June 25th, 2009 at 10:39 am | Permalink
biorhythmist:

“Dumb. Do not buy. Gay and retarted. Five stars.”

“Twice Tarted”?

biorhythmist:

“Dumb. Do not buy. Gay and retarted. Five stars.”

“Twice Tarted”?

8 months ago on June 2nd, 2009 at 10:42 am | Permalink | Reblog from
dogroxer writes a 
review of Radar for iPhone:


  i think that this app is ok it can b better many people will probly disagree with me but WHO CARES! it is pretty good! now i really am on my iphone all day long.


Rating: ONE STAR.

So… you like it, even though it can be better, and you know people will disagree with you, but YOU DON’T CARE! You’re standing firm in you’re opinion that it is pretty good!

And to prove your dedication, you are awarding it the lowest rating available.

dogroxer writes a review of Radar for iPhone:

i think that this app is ok it can b better many people will probly disagree with me but WHO CARES! it is pretty good! now i really am on my iphone all day long.

Rating: ONE STAR.

So… you like it, even though it can be better, and you know people will disagree with you, but YOU DON’T CARE! You’re standing firm in you’re opinion that it is pretty good!

And to prove your dedication, you are awarding it the lowest rating available.

9 months ago on April 20th, 2009 at 1:07 pm | Permalink
Reviewer for Sixteen Candles writes:


  “I’ve been waiting for this movie for so long on itunes!! It’s a really cute 80’s movie, one of the best, and def. worth buying or seeing a least.”


and then gives the movie one star.

To make matters worse: “4 out of 5 viewers found this review helpful.”

I bemoan humanity.

Sixteen Candles on iTunes

Reviewer for Sixteen Candles writes:

“I’ve been waiting for this movie for so long on itunes!! It’s a really cute 80’s movie, one of the best, and def. worth buying or seeing a least.”

and then gives the movie one star.

To make matters worse: “4 out of 5 viewers found this review helpful.”

I bemoan humanity.

Sixteen Candles on iTunes

9 months ago on April 18th, 2009 at 12:02 pm | Permalink
You might think that he’d give it one star, which is the lowest rating you can give, since it is “flawed in evry way” and “not worth a cent” but Nonoboy311 gives Iron Man for iPhone (iTunes link) two stars.

If I was the developer, I’d be curious what Nonoboy311 didn’t like about the app, what could be changed or improved.

I might even want to know what he thought would be a good price.

As a reader, I really want to know why a “flawed in evry way” game which is “not worth a cent” gets two stars.

You might think that he’d give it one star, which is the lowest rating you can give, since it is “flawed in evry way” and “not worth a cent” but Nonoboy311 gives Iron Man for iPhone (iTunes link) two stars.

If I was the developer, I’d be curious what Nonoboy311 didn’t like about the app, what could be changed or improved.

I might even want to know what he thought would be a good price.

As a reader, I really want to know why a “flawed in evry way” game which is “not worth a cent” gets two stars.

1 year ago on December 26th, 2008 at 4:46 pm | Permalink
"The OED was too big, and was very hard to find info."
1 year ago on December 13th, 2008 at 8:19 pm | Permalink

Info about ReviewTards

You say: “Using the word ‘tards’ is offensive!

I say: Anyone who uses the word “retard” to refer to someone with actual mental disabilities should be beaten with sticks, and I’d happily lead the charge. This is a site for people who say things that are just plain stupid. Any word to describe them would have someone who could find offense about it.

You say: “This is awesome, you ought to add…”

Send it to reviewtards at gmail com

Be sure to provide the URL were the original comment can be found, as well as the quote itself. (If context is needed, please send it as well.)

You ask: “Can I write for the site?”

Maybe, especially if you’ve sent in good stuff before. Send an email to the address above.

(If you’d like to write under a pseudonym, that’s OK too.)

You say: “Rules!? What rules?!”

Yeah, there are rules.

  1. Comments should be head-slappingly stupid, not just something you don’t agree with.

  2. Comments can come from anywhere, but must be accessible online (i.e. not email that you receive or other private communication).

  3. There may be others that don’t occur to me yet.

1 year ago on December 12th, 2008 at 12:00 am | Permalink