ReviewTards

Source Dear ReviewTard: Please repeat after me: “iTunes...

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 10:39:00 -0400

Dear ReviewTard:

Please repeat after me: “iTunes reviews are not the same thing as support forums.”

Again: “iTunes reviews are not the same thing as support forums.”

And again: “iTunes reviews are not the same thing as support forums.”

There you go. Please feel free to bookmark this page and return to it later should you become confused and forget that iTunes reviews are not the same thing as support forums.

(found by Moltz)

biorhythmist: “Dumb. Do not buy. Gay and retarted. Five...

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 10:42:53 -0400

biorhythmist:

“Dumb. Do not buy. Gay and retarted. Five stars.”

“Twice Tarted”?

dogroxer writes a review of Radar for iPhone: i think that...

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 13:07:46 -0400

dogroxer writes a review of Radar for iPhone:

i think that this app is ok it can b better many people will probly disagree with me but WHO CARES! it is pretty good! now i really am on my iphone all day long.

Rating: ONE STAR.

So… you like it, even though it can be better, and you know people will disagree with you, but YOU DON’T CARE! You’re standing firm in you’re opinion that it is pretty good!

And to prove your dedication, you are awarding it the lowest rating available.

Reviewer for Sixteen Candles writes: “I’ve been...

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 12:02:00 -0400

Reviewer for Sixteen Candles writes:

“I’ve been waiting for this movie for so long on itunes!! It’s a really cute 80’s movie, one of the best, and def. worth buying or seeing a least.”

and then gives the movie one star.

To make matters worse: “4 out of 5 viewers found this review helpful.”

I bemoan humanity.

Sixteen Candles on iTunes

You might think that he’d give it one star, which is the...

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 16:46:50 -0500

You might think that he’d give it one star, which is the lowest rating you can give, since it is “flawed in evry way” and “not worth a cent” but Nonoboy311 gives Iron Man for iPhone (iTunes link) two stars.

If I was the developer, I’d be curious what Nonoboy311 didn’t like about the app, what could be changed or improved.

I might even want to know what he thought would be a good price.

As a reader, I really want to know why a “flawed in evry way” game which is “not worth a cent” gets two stars.

"The OED was too big, and was very hard to find info."

Sat, 13 Dec 2008 20:19:00 -0500

“The OED was too big, and was very hard to find info.”

- Amazon.com: Customer Reviews: The Oxford English Dictionary (20 Volume Set)

Info about ReviewTards

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 00:00:00 -0500

You say: “Using the word ‘tards’ is offensive!

I say: Anyone who uses the word “retard” to refer to someone with actual mental disabilities should be beaten with sticks, and I’d happily lead the charge. This is a site for people who say things that are just plain stupid. Any word to describe them would have someone who could find offense about it.

You say: “This is awesome, you ought to add…”

Send it to reviewtards at gmail com

Be sure to provide the URL were the original comment can be found, as well as the quote itself. (If context is needed, please send it as well.)

You ask: “Can I write for the site?”

Maybe, especially if you’ve sent in good stuff before. Send an email to the address above.

(If you’d like to write under a pseudonym, that’s OK too.)

You say: “Rules!? What rules?!”

Yeah, there are rules.

Comments should be head-slappingly stupid, not just something you don’t agree with.
Comments can come from anywhere, but must be accessible online (i.e. not email that you receive or other private communication).
There may be others that don’t occur to me yet.